


The Way You Make Me Feel

by Gummiebear



Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:09:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26911177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gummiebear/pseuds/Gummiebear
Summary: The summer before starting college was supposed to be easy for Chris, until he met Sebastian, then it wasn't.
Relationships: Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	The Way You Make Me Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy! This is my first ever Evanstan fic and it's a doozy. Probably the longest thing I've written in over a year. A BIG BIG thanks to Minnie for sparking this idea and all the other cheerleaders that let me know they were excited to read the final product. I hope I didn't disappoint. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. Kisses to you all. 
> 
> All mistakes and typos are my own and I own them proudly.

New York wasn’t a scary city, he’d been there before. Day trips or long weekends, hopping on the train or piling into the station wagon. The flashing lights of Times Square, the great white way that is Broadway. Seeing shows and stars that Chris still spoke about. Bringing all that back with him home to his little town theater. The theater that molded him into the actor he was now. The actor that was now going to spread his wings and spend an entire summer in New York City. His mom had set him up with an apartment down in the East Village until August before he was to start college and move into the dorms. It was going to be his first time on his own and half of Chris was elated and the other half was scared shitless. He was a momma’s boy and proud of it, wore it like a badge of honor in fact. New York wasn’t far away but far enough that he couldn’t run downstairs when he needed a cuddle from her. And leaving Scott as well? That wasn’t something Chris was ready to really digest just yet. Packing all his belongings into two duffel bags and heading to the train station, the entire Evans clan in tow, made it real. This was probably going to be the last time they were all together before Thanksgiving break in November. A family that never had an off button was now quiet, the radio in the car wasn’t even on. The silence was deafening. Chris could hear his thoughts buzzing around in his head. He needed to do this, he had to do this. The theater company he was going to be joining for the summer was the best of the best, it was going to give him a much needed boost before classes in the fall. He just hated how it was so far away. He was eighteen now, an adult, time to leave the nest Christopher. 

The goodbyes were short and sweet, he may have clung to his mother a little longer than necessary. Lisa kissed his forehead and wished him luck, knowing full well that he didn’t need it. Her eldest son was going to be fine, Chris was more than ready to conquer the world on his own. She held her tears in until the car ride home, she did not want to show him how she was going to miss him. New York wasn’t far, but it was far enough. She loved and supported him, always had and always will, and that was something she was going to constantly remind him. She did demand that Chris call as soon as he got into the apartment, that was the one thing Lisa made sure was set up before Chris even moved it. He needed to have internet and phone connection so they could easily communicate with one another. Once he was alone and on the train he rifled through his backpack for his book and discman, his favorite CD already waiting for him to press play. As soon as the train left the station and Boston was in his rear view, he pressed play and cracked open the spine of his old paperback. Here went nothing. The start of the next chapter of his life. 

Three and a half hours later Chris was finally in New York, the train pulling into Grand Central Station. It was the week after the Fourth of July holiday but the city was still bustling, people flying by in a rush despite the summer day. It was a mid Sunday afternoon by the time Chris got off the train and stepped out into the street, trying to navigate his way towards a taxi to get his way downtown. He was immediately overwhelmed. He knew he could conquer it, the automatic anxiety creeping into his bloodstream, the pit of dread knotting into his stomach. He stood on the sidewalk, collected his thoughts, took a few calming breaths and made his way towards the end of the block to hail himself a cab and head towards the place he’d call home for the next six weeks. A half hour and close to forty dollars later, Chris was finally in his apartment. He dropped his bags on the floor and just soaked in the site in front of him. The apartment was tiny. Typical New York. One bedroom, which had enough room for a bed and a small dresser. A bathroom, and a kitchenette with enough room for a table and two chairs. His living room was just big enough for Chris, which was fine. It was his first ever apartment and it was perfect, a great starting point. 

“And you’re all packed away?”

“Yes, mom,” Chris answered with an eye roll. He was sitting at his makeshift desk that faced a brick wall, his dinner, two slices of pizza and a can of Pepsi, sat in front of him as he checked in with his mother. “All my clothes are neatly put away in my dresser, the one suit you made me pack is hanging up in the makeshift closet that I have. I’m okay, mom.”

“I know,” Lisa sighed. “I trust you, believe in you, Chris.”

“So,” he added. 

“Will you be okay?” She asked, her voice heavy. 

“Mom,” he groaned, not out of frustration but knowing where this conversation could lead. They had this conversation numerous times leading up to Chris leaving and each time it ended the same way. “It’s New York. I’m not in Guam. I’m in the same time zone. That’s why phones and the internet were invented. Besides, on long weekends I can come up and visit or you can come down and see me. Okay?”

Lisa paused to collect her thoughts. When did she raise such a wise and intelligent young man? He was right and she knew that and hated to admit it out loud. “Okay. Don’t forget your classes start at nine tomorrow.”

“I know,” Chris laughed. “That’s kind of the reason I’m here, mom.”

The next morning Chris made sure he was prompt when we arrived at his class. He also made sure to give himself enough time to get himself inevitably lost on his way uptown. His first time taking the New York subway system wasn’t going to be easy. He didn’t panic, even though he wanted to. He just collected himself and looked at his map and followed it like he trained himself to do the night before. He checked his watch as he stepped in front of the building and he had fifteen minutes before class was set to begin. He spotted Dunkin Donuts, couldn’t go wrong with the classics. With a much needed caffeine boost, Chris headed upstairs towards the studio to where he was going to spend the next six weeks honing his craft. The company that ran the theater he attended back home recommended the class in New York. The owner knew the owner who knew someone else. It was all about connections in acting. The room had about a half dozen people by the time he entered the room so he knew he was in the right place. It was a standard classroom, minus the desks and chairs, just a chalkboard on the wall. A few of the people were milling about, talking in whispered voices. Chris found his favored spot by the corner to sip his coffee and people watch, observe everyone until the class began. 

“Hey everyone,” a voice called to them, followed by clapping hands. “Good morning.”

Chris laughed into his coffee cup as everyone chorused a good morning to the girl that stood in front of the room. Now it officially felt like a day of school. 

“Hi again,” she laughed with a beaming smile. She quickly tied her red hair up and out of her face. “My name is Eliza, I’m 20 and about to start my third year at Juilliard and for the next six weeks I’ll be your instructor. Seeing as it’s all our first day here I thought we’d go around the room and introduce ourselves so we aren’t all strangers anymore, okay? Who’d like to go first?”

A nervous energy filled the room immediately. For a group of actors they sure did clam up when asked to be in the spotlight and be the center of attention. Everyone kept looking around the room waiting for someone to speak up first. It definitely felt like a classroom, all waiting for someone to speak before getting called on. Chris looked down at his shoes, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, especially Eliza. He hated the idea of being called on first to speak. He hated the idea of introducing himself entirely actually. 

“I’m Skylar,” a loud booming voice echoed. Chris’s head sprang up to find the person who bravely spoke up. It was a blonde on the opposite side of the room. She was smiling and looked way too awake for this time of day in the middle of the summer. “Nineteen, from Long Island. I’m about to start my second year at Yale for drama. I’m actually taking this class because I work the afternoon shifts at the Starbucks a few blocks away because it’s really convenient for me.”

“Welcome, Skylar,” Eliza greeted her warmly. 

After that the floodgates opened. More people were willing to speak and introduce themselves. After the fifth one Chris sort of started to tune them out. Not purposely, but everyone started to blend together, their names, faces, schools as well. So far everyone was from New York City and its surrounding areas. Their schools were impressive, too. Chris looked around and realized it was close to being his turn. He took another sip of his coffee cause his mouth was dry all of a sudden, a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach tightening. He could say whatever he wanted and they’d believe him, no one here knew a thing about him. 

“Umm, I’m Chris,” he spoke, coughing to clear his throat, hyper aware of his accent compared to everyone else. “Just turned eighteen and I’m from Boston. I’ll be starting at NYU in the fall.”

“Welcome to New York, Chris,” Eliza replied, still smiling like she did with everyone else. 

Now that Chris officially felt like an idiot he continued sipping at his coffee and staring down at his shoes as the rest of the room went around talking. There were only a handful of people left to speak. That’s when Chris looked up to take another sip and was immediately taken aback by a pair of blue, were they blue?, they were blueish, eyes. He had no idea what the guy was saying but Chris was definitely staring at his mouth and his full bottom lip. Pay attention Christopher. 

“Sebastian, sixteen. I’ll be seventeen in a few weeks. Rockland county,” he nervously introduced himself, biting his lip. “Starting my senior year of high school, uh yeah, that-that’s about it.”

Chris was immediately smitten with this kid. Sixteen, almost seventeen, was a kid. Wasn’t it? Either way he was beautiful. Cary Grant. That’s who he reminded Chris of. A young, dashing Cary Grant. The chiseled cheeks that were lined by the hint of baby fat, soft eyes that looked just as overwhelmed as Chris felt. There was something about him that Chris wanted to know better. Now that the attention was off of him he looked calmer and more relaxed and Chris couldn’t tear his eyes away from him, he just hoped he didn’t notice how he couldn’t help but just stare at him and just wonder more about this guy. Chris’s eyes felt like they were permanently glued on Sebastian’s every move. Sebastian. What a name. It was unique, a name he hadn’t heard of before, at least not often. Also, Chris was intrigued by the two or maybe three sentences he spoke. He was still in high school in Rockland County, wherever that was. Chris needed to do his research when he got back to his apartment after class. 

“It was good,” Chris told Lisa later that night. He had gotten home mid afternoon from class and immediately did his research on Rockland Country, which he found out was about an hour north of New York City. Now he felt like he knew another little puzzle piece of who Sebastian was. “We had to introduce ourselves in front of the entire class which was awkward, but that’s school.”

“Make any friends?” Lisa asked. 

“Mom,” Chris quickly groaned. 

“Just asking,” she replied. “I don’t want you being cooped up in that apartment all summer, love. You need to meet people, get out there.”

“I’ve been here for twenty four hours, mom,” he gently reminded her. 

“Anyone in your class catch your eye?” She asked. 

Chris paused his movements, looking around the room he was in. Did his mother know something or was it her creepy motherly instinct kicking in. “Wha-what? No-no.”

“Chris?”

“No!” He protested. 

“I didn’t teach you to lie so you’re horrible at it,” Lisa told him with a laugh. “You’re stuttering, dead giveaway. Spill, dear.”

Reluctantly Chris spent the next ten minutes speaking to his mother about Sebastian. He hardly had any information about him but just kept going on and on. Lisa barely had a chance to add her two cents but she didn’t mind, she opened the floodgates by asking the question in the first place. She just loved how open and honest Chris was being with her. He was being so free with his feelings and that’s all a mother wanted from her children. Chris was sharing his hopes and dreams as well as his insecurities, about the class, about living in New York, about becoming an actor professionally, and about Sebastian. It was a true heart to heart that was long overdue and one Chris was honestly too afraid to have with his mother face to face. It was just easier to have over the phone. Did he feel raw and vulnerable after speaking everything he was feeling and wanted a strong hug from his mother? Absolutely. But just to hear her reassuring words and confident advice was more than enough. 

“So about Sebastian,” Lisa giggled. 

“Mom,” he huffed. “Out of everything I said, that’s what you want to focus on?”

“Absolutely,” she replied. “His eyes are really that dreamy?”

“I’m never telling you anything ever again,” he weakly threatened. 

“You will, so stop your bellyaching,” she told him. “So what else do we know about him?”

“It’s pointless, mom,” he sighed. “I don’t even know if he’s gay or bisexual, so this could be another pointless crush on another straight guy. Story of my life.”

“Or he could be into men too and have a crush on you as well,” Lisa countered with her motherly advice. “Positive thoughts my boy. He could be speaking to his own mother right now about you and your dreamy eyes and long legs and long eyelashes.”

“Mom!”

“What? I have a beautiful son,” she said confidently. “Go get some rest. You’ve got a big day tomorrow. You need your beauty sleep for Sebastian.”

“I love you, mom.”

“Love you too, sunshine.”

The remaining week of classes seemed to fly by. It was busy with the tedious work that most acting classes did the first week. Staging the classroom as if it was a real life stage. Marking the floor and placing people around the room and labeling things as stage left or right, the basics. You couldn’t conquer acting if you even master the basics like figuring out how to maneuver around a stage. It was boring to Chris, things he learned at an early age, but he played along, helped line the tape on the floor when Eliza asked him. Chris might have hated having attention to himself but he was always a game player. It was also a good distraction for him, because he could feel himself starting at Sebastian again. A habit he realized he was picking up whenever there was a lull in the class or a conversation he was having with Skylar or another student he was getting to know, Brett. Brett was his age and was coincidentally starting NYU in the fall as well so the conversation between the two of them was easy. It eased Chris’s anxiety a lot now that he had at least two people he knew and could talk to so he no longer had to stand in the corner and hide from the crowd. 

“Hey, Chris,” Brett called to him at the end of class on Friday. 

Chris was kneeling on the floor, neatly placing his papers and folders into his bag like a proper student. “What’s up, Brett?”

“A bunch of us are grabbing dinner tonight and I wanted to know if you wanted to join us?” He asked, offering Chris a hand to help him stand. 

Chris stood up and brushed off the imaginary dust off his pants out of habit. “How many are coming?”

“Last headcount was about six or seven of us,” Brett answered with a shrug. “I’m really trying to get Brittany to come.”

“Crush?” Chris asked with a smirk and raised eyebrow as he followed Brett out the room and down the hall, towards the exit. 

“Something like that,” he replied with a laugh. “So, is that a yes?”

Chris pushed open the door and immediately soaked up the summer sun on his skin. He heard a few people laughing to his right and looked over, seeing a small group of people whispering to each other and trying not to be obvious as they looked over at him and Brett. Brittany and Sebastian were both in that small group. “Did Brittany say she was going to come?”

“She didn’t say no,” Brett replied. “Please come, dude. I won’t know anyone besides you and Sky and I can’t look stupid in front of this girl.”

Chris sighed and adjusted his bag over his shoulder. “Fine. When and where are we meeting?”

“You are my new favorite person,” Brett told him, pulling Chris into a hug. 

Chris felt like such an idiot once he got back to his apartment. He dropped his stuff on his makeshift couch and paced in front of the mirror in his bedroom for close to ten minutes, muttering incoherently to himself. He was trying to hype himself up to get himself ready to go out to eat with a few of his classmates. He knew Brett and Skylar were going to be there so he had a few familiar faces to chat with. But knowing that Brittany was more than likely going and adding the new information that she was friendly with Sebastian threw Chris into an entire new fit of anxiety. What if Brittany asked Sebastian to come so she didn’t feel uncomfortable around someone who was so obvious in their affection towards her? Oh god! What was Chris going to wear? He didn’t have a lot of clothes, packed what he could, his mother was going to send more in the upcoming weeks once the weather started to change. God, he could not repeat an outfit already that would be so embarrassing. He needed help, he needed Scott. 

“My older brother is having a gay crisis,” Scott laughed after hearing Chris’s explanation as to why he called. 

“I hate you,” he spat out. 

“No, no, it’s cute,” Scott cooed. “I’m here to help, bro.”

“What do I wear?” Chris asked, still in a panic. “I don’t want to look obviously put together but I also want to look like I put some effort into what I wore.”

Scott’s hums on the other line, thinking. He makes a few noises like he’s about to say something but stops which always aggravates Chris. “You packed that red tank top with the white around the edges? The one Carly got you from Hollister for your birthday?”

“I have it,” Chris confirms. “You think that’s a good choice?”

“As a fellow homosexual and as your brother, I can say without fail that is the right choice,” Scott says confidently. “Throw on a pair of dark jeans and a belt, boots, not sneakers, and your outfit is complete.”

Chris sighed, using his free hand to run through the short strands of his hair. “You’re a lifesaver, Scotty. Love you.”

“Knock him dead. Call me tomorrow and tell me all about it,” he said. 

“Will do,” he replied before hanging up. 

Chris tried to play it cool as he got himself ready. If he did a few push ups and sit ups before taking a shower, that is totally between him and the mirror in his bedroom. It was a way to relieve the nervous energy in his bones. Talking to Scott did calm him down but actually getting up and getting ready amped up his nerves a little bit more. He purposely took a hot shower and stood under the water longer than necessary to cool him off. He could do this, it was just pizza with some friends, completely harmless. At the thought of pizza his stomach made its presence known. Yes, okay, he was hungry as well. He got dressed in the exact outfit Scott picked out for him, checking himself out in the mirror and admitting that his younger brother was in fact correct, he did look good in an effortless kind of way. He ran some product in his hair as he checked the time and realized if he didn’t want Brett to think he stood him up he better get a move on. They were all meeting at a place close to the studio so it was equidistant to everyone and an easy location for Chris to navigate via the subway system, which he was still learning. 

He got to the pizza parlor around six like he was asked and saw Brett standing outside with Skylar by his side. It looked like they were the first people to arrive. Chris greeted them but it was obvious that Brett was preoccupied, checking his watch and looking up and down the street clearly looking for any signs of Brittany. Chris was trying to reassure him that she was going to show she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with him outside of class. A small part of Chris was hoping he was right and hoping Brittany would have Sebastian with her. He was trying to cool his own expression when Skylar brought up Sebastian’s name, Chris’s interest suddenly changed as he intently listened to what she was saying. Skylar claimed she overheard Sebastian trying to convince Brittany to come out because no one could turn down pizza. That was another check in Chris’s pro list as to why liking Sebastian was such a good idea. Who could say no to pizza? They all agreed to go inside and hold a table seeing they were at least expecting two or three more people aside from Brittany and Sebastian. 

Once inside they ordered drinks for the table, water and soda, not knowing everyone’s preference. The food could wait until everyone was accounted for. Chris was getting a little nervous when two more people arrived, Kayla and Steven who he knew little about from class. He had seen them speak briefly to Skylar before and after class yesterday. They reintroduced themselves to Chris graciously. They were both twenty one and heading into their last year of college at Rutgers over in New Jersey. They were loud and raucous, but not in an offensive way, they could instantly tell that Chris was hesitant to join in their conversation so they lowered their voices and tried to break Chris out of his nervous bubble. Brett was still looking at the door and his watch obsessively, biting at his lip, clearly preoccupied. 

“She’ll come,” Chris reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder in comfort. 

Brett turned his head to give Chris a right smile. “Thanks, dude. Sebastian, too.”

“Wha-what about him?” He stammered. 

“Sure,” Brett laughed genuinely. “Secret is safe with me.”

Chris looked around the table to make sure no one was paying attention to them and leaned forward into Brett. “What secret, Brett?”

“Your crush on Seb,” he replied matter-of-factly. “You stare at him any chance you get, like he hangs the stars in the sky, man.”

“I do not,” Chris scoffed and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, shaking his head. “Ridiculous.”

“I’m the only one who knows,” Brett told him. “Skylar’s oblivious to it.”

“I do not have a crush on Sebastian,” he said through gritted teeth. 

“You may be an actor but you’re a horrible liar,” he said truthfully. 

Seeing as that it seemed like everyone who was supposed to be at their little get together arrived, they finally ordered. Chris was thankful that the topic of food changed the conversation he was having with Brett. Was he really obvious with his childish crush on Sebastian? He hardly knew anything about him anyway so did it even count as a crush? He did find him physically attractive. He was beautiful. His eyes were stunning, the color of oceans, cheekbones that could cut glass, and okay, maybe Chris did stare a little too long at him when he saw him across the room a few times during the week. So what? Brett did the same to Brittany. He wasn’t gawking or being crude, just admiring. It wasn’t distracting him from the class so what was the big deal? Maybe Sebastian had a horrible personality that would turn Chris off and squash his little infatuation and everything would be put to bed and Brett would get off of his case once and for all. 

“Please tell me you already ordered because I’m starving.”

Chris looked up from the mess he was making of his napkin at the new voice, it was Brittany, Sebastian trailing right behind her. Holy shit. 

“Brit-Brittany, you came,” Brett said in shock, he looked behind at Chris with wide eyes. “With Sebastian.”

“Sorry we’re late,” she apologized, slipping into the available seat across from Brett, Sebastian sitting across from Chris. “Someone wanted to go home and change and pack a bag and ask his mom if they could stay at mine this weekend.”

“Geez, Britt, air out my crap,” Sebastian spoke. 

“Sorry, babe,” she apologized. She was talking a mile a minute, her hands gesturing wildly as she spoke. “I’m so glad you invited me, Brett. Seb here is so boring to hang out with alone.”

“Britt!” He exclaimed, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment rather quickly which was endearing. He turned his attention away from the commotion that was his friend next to him and to Chris. “Hi, we’ve never been formally introduced, I’m Sebastian.”

Chris looked at the hand that was being offered to him and had to swallow. The skin looked so soft and he could touch it and figure it out himself but why was he so afraid to? He looked at Sebastian through his eyelashes and almost gasped, his eyes were so beautiful up close. Oceans of just clear blue water. “Ch-Chris. I’m Chris.”

“From Boston,” he supplied, shaking his hand. “The accent is a dead give away and cute.”

“Oh my god, you should’ve heard Seb’s accent before he met me and started acting,” Brittany butted in, once again. 

Chris dropped Sebastian’s hand regretfully, and he was right, it was as soft as it seemed. He would not mind holding it again in the near future or feeling it on his body. Calm down Chris, god. “You had an accent?”

“How about you shut up?” Sebastian snarled at his friend. “Pay attention to Brett, okay?”

“Sorry,” Brittany apologized, putting her hands up. “I’m done. Pretend I’m not even here.”

“Gladly,” Sebastian replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

Dinner was lighthearted, fun, but a little intense. Chris was so wound up for a majority of the night. Once Brittany stopped butting in the conversation with Sebastian it seemed to stop completely. Neither of them knew what to say. Chris had a lot of questions he wanted to ask but didn’t know how to ask them, his voice stuck somewhere in his throat. He just kept staring at Sebastian pathetically. Brittany’s words were replaying in his mind. Sebastian had an accent before he started acting? Where was he from? Chris was trying to picture him somewhere else other than New York. Where else would Sebastian fit in seeing as he seemed so at ease in the city? He didn’t know if it was his place to ask so he was left confused and curious. The conversation around the table was light and friendly. Brett and Brittany were hitting it off, it seemed a mutual attraction was brewing between them. Good for them. Skylar sat on the opposite end of the table talking to Steven and Kayla, which once again left Chris and Sebastian to themselves. Chris was occupying himself with his paper plate, ripping the edges like he did with his napkin earlier. A sure sign his anxiety was at a high. 

“I like your shirt.”

Chris whipped his head up at the small sound of Sebastian’s voice, smiling at him. “Thanks, my brother picked it out for me.”

Sebastian’s smile fell briefly at his response but he laughed moments later. “You have siblings?”

“Three,” he responded. “Two sisters and a brother.”

“I’m an only child,” Sebastian supplied. “Just me and my mom most of my life.”

Chris nodded his head, another lull in the conversation. He had no idea what to say now. Did he bring up all the questions bouncing around in his head that he wanted to know about the boy in front of him? 

“How do you like New York so far?” Sebastian asked. 

“I like it,” he shrugged. “I’ve only seen my apartment, the subway station, and the studio, but so far so good.”

“Whenever you want to be a tourist, let me know,” Sebastian told him, a blush creeping up on his cheeks which was not lost on Chris. 

“Tha-that would be great,” Chris replied, he could feel a blush matching Sebastian’s creeping up the back of his neck and on his cheeks. 

The remainder of the night continued on smoothly after that. Chris and Sebastian were eventually roped in on Brett and Brittany’s conversation about whatever came out of Brittany’s mouth. Chris learned early on that the girl had no filter, which was a good and bad thing. She seemed to be hitting it off swimmingly with Brett, which was great for them. Skylar, Steven, and Kayla joined in their conversation as well, once the topic turned to music and television. Everyone had different opinions on Ricky Martin and the new wave of all the pop groups coming out. Chris wasn’t going to admit out loud that The Backstreet Boys had become his guilty pleasure. He and Scott had memorized the entire album in a week, driving their entire family crazy during that time. A good pop song was a good pop song, Chris wasn’t going to deny that. Sebastian added his opinion by stating that he was into the new songs that the Goo Goo Dolls were releasing. Chris made a mental note to learn more about the band, he had heard their songs on the radio but never gave them a second listen. Now he had a reason to learn more about them. 

Chris went home that night feeling fulfilled. He took the subway home alone after a long goodbye to all his new found friends, with promises to see each other on Monday for class. He watched as Brittany and Brett exchanged numbers and a very awkward hug. He kept looking over at Sebastian, noticing how he’d look at him when he thought Chris wasn’t paying attention. Maybe Chris wasn’t imagining things, maybe Sebastian did feel the same as Chris. He wasn’t going to approach the topic, not now, not in front of everyone. He was looking forward to learning about New York City from Sebastian, plans in his mind already of what they could do, where they could go. Chris knew he had a goofy smile on his face the entire subway ride home and even when he stepped foot in his apartment. He was genuinely happy. He also didn’t mind that he dreamt of ocean blue eyes and a toothy smile that night either. 

“What are you doing after class tomorrow?”

Chris paused his movements as Sebastian waltzed up to him after Monday’s class was dismissed. He just gawked at him for a moment, Sebastian was wearing a blue shirt today that just made his eyes pop and Chris may have gotten lost in them for a while. “Huh?”

“Remember I told you I was going to show you New York,” he reminded him with a laugh. “Why not start tomorrow.”

“Yeah-yeah,” Chris nodded in recognition. “I’m free tomorrow.”

“Good,” Sebastian concluded with a smile. “Dress comfortably, we’ll be doing a lot of walking.”

“Can’t wait,” he told him, being sincere. Chris was more than excited to spend an evening with Sebastian, just the two of them and New York City. It was just two people hanging out and getting to know each other but maybe, just maybe, Chris was going to pretend it was a date. 

Chris woke up Tuesday morning feeling anxious. He tried to play it off as nerves for class, but he knew that wasn’t the reason why. He slept fine, watched the Red Sox beat the Yankees before heading to bed. The knots in his stomach grew tighter as he made himself coffee and breakfast before starting his morning routine. He was going to hang out with Sebastian this afternoon and the thought of it was nerve racking. He wanted to impress him, even if it was strictly platonic. He could feel his hands shake a little as he cleaned up his breakfast dishes and got his clothes out before showering. He just needed to breathe and relax. He was excited too, an afternoon of possibilities laid in front of him. He showered and got dressed, distracting himself by turning on the radio he had on his bedside table. A little music to wake him up and divert his thoughts from the anxiety of the day ahead of him. He lowered the radio when his phone rang. He rushed over to his kitchen area to where the phone was placed on the wall. 

“Hello?”

“Christopher, have you forgotten your mother?”

Chris huffed and laughed at his mother's word. “Mom, sorry. I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy for your mother?” She joked. “I had to call you before you left for class because you’re probably out galavanting after.”

“Didn’t you tell me to enjoy myself while I was here?” He teased her. “I’m just following your advice.”

“Touché,” she laughed. “How’s Sebastian?”

“Mom,” Chris groaned and immediately regretted telling his mother about his crush. 

“Your brother and sisters are so closed off with their relationships,” she sighed. “Let me have something, please.”

“Fine,” Chris sighed, picking off stray lint from the front of his shirt. “I’m going out with him after class today.”

“A date?”

“As friends,” he quickly corrected her. “He volunteered to show me New York.”

“Sunshine,” she cooed. “That’s great. I’m glad you two are becoming friends. The best relationships start as friendships.”

“Mother,” he whined. 

Class on Tuesday ran smoothly. It was their second week so they were still learning the fundamentals, or that’s how Eliza described it. Chris didn’t have a lot of downtime during class so he had to settle on just staring at Sebastian from across the room, anticipating their impending time together. Even though they were friendly towards each other they still remained with their core group of friends during class. Skylar and Brett never too far away from Chris and Brittany was attached to Sebastian. He did catch Sebastian looking at him and whispering something to Brittany during their lunch break which made Chris blush. It was all very high school like but the thrill of the unknown was something Chris welcomed. He kept staring at the clock as it felt like it just ticked by so slowly, three o’clock couldn’t come fast enough. He just wanted to know where Sebastian was taking him. 

“Ready?” Sebastian asked after class once they exited the building. 

“Where are we going?” Chris asked, adjusting his bag over his shoulder, gripping a little tighter to calm his rapidly beating heart. 

“Central Park,” he answered with a smile. “The weather is beautiful so I want to show you my favorite part of the park.”

Chris could feel the butterflies taking flight in my belly at Sebastian’s words. He wanted to show him his favorite part of the park. He’d been to the park before, taken in the zoo as well, but to see a special place that was important to Sebastian. That was something else. “That’s great. Let’s go.”

The walk to the park, even though it was over a mile, felt like it lasted five minutes. The conversation between the two was light and fun, talking mostly about class and the budding romance between their friends. Like back in the pizza parlor days before Chris had so many questions he wanted to ask Sebastian but didn’t know how to approach the topic without seeming too eager to want to know this boy. Chris took in the sights around them, seeing the infamous fifth avenue for the first time. High end shops lining the block, people bustling in and out with shopping bags hanging from their arms. It looked straight out of a Hollywood movie but it was real life. He was lucky that Sebastian wasn’t laughing at him because Chris knew he looked ridiculous and a little embarrassing. Boston wasn’t a small city by any means, but the luxury of New York had him in awe. 

“Welcome to Central Park,” Sebastian greeted him, his arms stretched out in front of him for Chris to follow. “It’s beautiful and massive and you can get lost easily so stay close.”

“How far do we have to walk?” Chris asked as he followed behind Sebastian, jogging a little to catch up. He was just trying to take everything in. The smell of the grass, the noise of the people and the birds in the trees. The colors of the flowers that grew around the body of water smack dab in the middle of everything. 

“It’s just past those baseball fields,” he answered, pointing up ahead. “It’s closer to the west side of the park and we entered on the east side.”

“Sure,” Chris nodded, pretending to understand what he meant. “Show me the way.”

Chris followed Sebastian in silence. Tracking behind him as they walked up dirt paths that were somehow muddy despite the lack of rain the past few weeks since Chris had been in New York. Winding around rocks that seemed like they led him nowhere. Chris tried to take everything around him in, not knowing when he’d return to the park again. Sebastian was always a step or two ahead of him, a man on a mission determined to show Chris his favorite spot in the entire park. The more they walked the less people they passed. A part of Chris was excited to see where they were going but another side of him was nervous. They were already alone and from the looks of it wherever they were headed seemed secluded, or as secluded as a park in New York City could be. 

“Here,” Sebastian announced moments later. 

Chris took a big step so he was next to Sebastian and looked straight ahead. He was confused at first, what was he supposed to be looking out? From the first look it was just a bunch of old looking, gray colored, wood. “What is it?”

Sebastian shook his head and smiled over at Chris. “I have no idea what its name is but I discovered it last year and now it’s my favorite place in the park, probably the city.”

“It’s a wooden bridge,” Chris scoffed. He didn’t want to sound unimpressed but he was a bit underwhelmed. 

“Come on,” Sebastian groaned, grabbing Chris’s hand and pulling him forward so they were standing in the middle of the bridge-like enclosure. 

Chris’s entire body lit up like fireworks and the short touch they shared, wiping his brow with his shirt sleeve to hide the inevitable blush creeping up on his cheeks. He was able to focus, mostly, once Sebastian dropped his hand. He turned around twice and heard the squeaking of the old wood underneath his feet. He took everything around him in, the columns of wood that were wrapped in intricate viens. It looked like it was purposely placed that way but Chris knew that it had grown that way naturally. Towards the opposite end of the enclosure Chris saw two benches that looked like it came from the late 1800’s, old and weathered but still stable and strong. 

“So? Sebastian asked. 

“This is beautiful,” Chris whispered into the air, his voice softly echoing. 

“I like to think I’m the only person who knows about this place,” Sebastian laughed from somewhere behind Chris. “And now you do, too.”

“Thank you,” Chris whispered again, walking a foot forward to trace his hand along the wooden beams. “This must look beautiful in the winter.”

“Year round,” Sebastian added. “You get people walking through from time to time but no one really pays attention to this place.”

“Don’t know why,” he scoffed. “It’s beauty, the elegance of this place. Really, thank you for showing me this place, Sebastian.”

“Of course,” he nodded in response. “That’s what friends are for.”

Chris turned his head to look at Sebastian and returned the smile, wide and genuine. Nodding his head to his words. “Yeah, friends.”

The time at the park was comforting for Chris. Getting to just relax and enjoy the summer sun and air, despite the humidity. He and Sebastian eventually sat down on the benches, their knees knocking into each other every time they moved. The innocent touch sent tingles down Chris’s spine, his cheeks immediately on fire. Being that close to Sebastian lit a spark inside of Chris, making him realize that his crush was more than that. He liked Sebastian, after getting to know him better. They sat and just spoke about nothing and everything. Chris learned about how Sebastian moved to New York from Romania only a few short years ago. How for a majority of his childhood it was just him and his mom until she remarried. He spoke at great length about how he met Brittany and how acting helped him hone his English and built his confidence. Chris was just in awe of him, how he was more wise than his sixteen years. How he had done and been through so much in such a short period of time. 

Time felt like it completely stopped for the two of them. They just sat on the bench and spoke for hours, the world passing them by. On a few occasions people would walk by them heading either deeper into the park or towards the exit which was a few yards away from where they sat. Chris just got lost in their conversations, it felt so easy to talk to Sebastian. Their backgrounds and how they grew up were different but they still had so much in common. Loyalty was one of their shared traits. Loyalty to friends and family and loyalty to themselves. Chris just loved seeing the excitement in Sebastian’s eyes when he spoke about acting and his senior year of high school and all the possibilities of what college he would attend. The dimples in his cheeks when he smiled deep and wide, the blue of his eyes shined brighter, which Chris didn’t even realize was possible. He felt so comfortable opening up to Sebastian, about his fears of starting college and being away from home. Also his excitement that came with everything as well. Being on his own for the first time in his life was thrilling. 

“I had a great time,” Chris told Sebastian as they stood in front of his apartment building a few hours later. 

Sebastian looked down at his shoes then up at Chris, smiling. “I’m glad. I’m afraid everything else I show you will be boring compared to today.”

“Never!” He exclaimed excitingly, shocked over his own outburst. “No, I mean, I-I doubt it.”

“Sorry for word vomiting all over you,” he laughed, biting his bottom lip. 

Chris smiled at Sebastian and felt his palms get sweaty. If this was a date this moment most likely would be when he’d bridge the gap between the two of them and kiss Sebastian. But this wasn’t that, this was just two people hanging out as friends. Right? “You’re going to be able to get home okay?”

“I’ll crash at Brittany’s if anything,” Sebastian told him. “I’ll see you at class tomorrow.”

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded. 

Sebastian looked down the street towards where he should be walking towards and then looked back up at Chris. “Have a good night, Chris.”

“You too, Seb,” he said. 

The next few weeks were more of the same for Chris. Going to class Monday through Friday and just decomposing or catching up with his family over the phone on the weekends. Class was getting busy and interesting now. They were assigned a monologue to rehearse and showcase in front of the class. When Chris wasn’t watching television or messing around on his computer he was practicing in front of the mirror, just to memorize his scene. Things with Sebastian were getting interesting. Their hangouts after class started to become a weekly thing for them. Sebastian took him to Bryant park in the second week. It wasn’t as massive or beautiful as Central Park but it was great nonetheless. They went to the little shops that were set up around the park, getting a makeshift dinner of sandwiches and coffee. They spoke about their scenes that they were assigned and how that was coming along. Chris was thoroughly enjoying being in Sebastian’s company and getting to know him. He was a great person, really fun and exciting to be around. 

There was no denying now that Chris genuinely liked Sebastian as more than just a friend. Brett would constantly tease him about it, seeing that he and Brittany were now a legit couple. It got worse when Sebastian got to class before Chris one day and had a coffee ready for him. Brett batted his eyelashes at Chris and pretended to swoon once Sebastian scurried off to his side of the classroom where he immediately went and whispered something to Brittany. Chris knew Brett’s teasing was just that, but maybe he was onto something. Maybe Sebastian did feel the same but was too chicken shit to say or do anything like Chris was. On the third week of his adventures with Sebastian he took Chris to the Natural History Museum on a chilly late July Saturday morning. It was the most fun Chris had had since being in New York. He read about the museum, seen pictures as well, but nothing compared to seeing it in person. 

“Why don’t you ask him how he feels?”

Chris let out a breath and rolled his eyes. “Mom, I can’t do that!”

“And why not?” Lisa asked, sounding as exasperated as her son. “I don’t get you kids, I don’t.”

“What if I’m reading too much into all the little things?” He countered. Chris really didn’t want to have this conversation with his mom but Scott and Carly were busy and his mom did answer the phone when he called. 

“And what if you’re reading all the signs perfectly?” She asked with a hum. “What if he’s waiting for you to make the first move? You’re older than him Chris, remember that.”

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship with me thinking with the wrong head,” he told her, his honesty may have been a bit much but at this point Chris didn’t care. His head was all over the place and he couldn’t function or think straight. 

“Sunshine,” she cooed at him. Lisa realized she needed to calm her voice to calm Chris down before the entire conversation went off the rails. “If you’re honest with him and respect the outcome, whatever that may be, you won’t ruin anything. You’re a smart boy and it seems like Sebastian is as well, so if you approach this intelligently nothing will be ruined. If it goes south, look at it as a lesson learned that’s all.”

Chris sighed, scrubbing at his face with his free hand, the heel of his hand digging into his eyes purposely. “I know, you’re right, I know. I’m just nervous mom, I really like him. He’s smart and funny and really listens when I talk to him and I don’t know what to do if I lost him.”

August started with its hot, humid, and muggy weather. Chris was trying to take his mother’s advice but the little voice in his head kept telling him to back off and do not bum rush Sebastian with his feelings. He had to feel things about with him a little bit more, even though it was driving him absolutely crazy. They were doing so many things together that typical couples would be doing. He’d seen Brett and Brittany spending a lot of time together, which was normal for people in relationships and looked at himself and Sebastian and just shook his head. When they weren’t busy with class they were almost always together, finding something to do together. Discovering the nooks and crannies of New York, or grabbing a bite to eat during lunch breaks or dinner at the pizza parlor by Chris’s apartment. They only had three weeks left of classes before the summer was over and everything could change. Chris would be a college freshman and Sebastian would be starting his last year of high school over an hour away from Chris. No more seeing each other five days a week and the occasional Saturday. The thought of not seeing him anymore made Chris sad and anxious. 

“Okay everyone!” Eliza called the class to attention. “Who’s ready for their last lesson of the summer?”

A half assed chorus of acknowledgement rang out from the students. Chris shook his head with a fond smile on his face, he was going to miss the enthusiasm everyone had so early in the morning on a Monday. He took a sip of his coffee, that Sebastian had bought him thoughtfully. 

“We’re ending the summer with a bang,” Eliza continued. “We are going to partner up and do my all time favorite scene from my all time favorite play.”

Eliza walked to her large duffel bag and pulled out copies of what looked like a script. She passed it along to everyone. Chris took his copy from Brett and scanned the words on the pages, he recognized the names and vaguely remembered this scene. 

“A Streetcar Named Desire,” she spoke, smiling wide. “So no one feels left out I took the liberty to already set up the partners for this scene.”

Chris looked around the room wondering who he’d be partnered up with. This scene was heavy and full of nuance, a dash of romance added in. Eliza began to rattle off the pairs, Chris rolling his eyes when inevitably Brett and Brittany were paired together. Chris was hoping he’d be paired with Skylar, they were friendly and had a good understanding of one another. Steven and Kayla were put together given Chris little hope that he’d be with someone he knew outside of class. 

“Skylar,” Eliza called, Chris perking up at the name. She looked down at her list before looking up again. “Joe.”

Chris’s heart fell, he was upset. He didn’t know how anyone else worked and he really wanted a partner that he had a good relationship with, one that felt easy and all his options were gone at this point. 

“I did hit a snag while making the list,” Eliza said. “We have one extra boy so we’re going modern and having a same sex couple do this scene. Chris and Sebastian, that means you two.”

The ground swallowing him whole would be so much better if Chris were to be honest. Working with Sebastian? Doing this scene with him? The worst idea Chris could ever think of. He sought out Sebastian from across the room whose face was unreadable. Confusion, perhaps, terrified, most definitely. Chris knew this scene from reading the play back in high school and in his spare time, the scene was intense and had a brief kiss as well. Chris couldn’t do this. He couldn’t kiss Sebastian, acting be damned. He could feel the tight coil in his chest. He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly through his nose. He could not be having an anxiety attack right now, not in the middle of class. Not when Sebastian was staring at him, his face now showing a look of concern. Chris repeated his breathing, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out once again slowly through his nose. 

“The last week of class is when all of you should be prepared to act out your scenes,” Eliza’s voice broke through Chris’s hazy mind. “We are dedicating the remaining weeks to rehearsal. I expect amazing things from you guys.”

She dismissed everyone to break up into their pairs, Chris remained standing where he was. He was overwhelmed in many different ways. His anxiety gave him tunnel vision, he could feel Brett patting him gently on the back before making his ways towards Brittany. He could see Sebastian perfectly standing only ten to fifteen feet in front of him, slowly making his way towards Chris. This was one of Chris’s downfalls when it came to acting. He loved expressing himself creatively, it was a great outlet, but this. The uncertainty, the things that were out of his hands was what usually overwhelmed him and heightened his anxiety. This. This shouldn’t bother him, it was just a class, a workshop, it meant nothing in the long run. But it meant everything. This was him and Sebastian being forced to work together for the next two to three weeks. Being vulnerable and open around one another, breaking down walls and barriers they had built up. 

“Hey, partner,” Sebastian greeted him warmly, a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?”

Chris blinked to clear his blurry vision. “You-you okay?”

“Yeah,” he replied timidly. “If you don’t want to do this with me we don’t have to, Chris. I’m sure Eliza would understand.”

Chris shook his head at Sebastian’s words, shaking whatever was clogging his mind out. “What? No! No! We can, I can do this. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable at all.”

“Uncomfortable?” He asked. “Why would I be uncomfortable?”

“It’s a romantic scene, Sebastian,” he told him, shaking the script in Sebastian’s direction. “I don’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with.”

Sebastian started to laugh which was a little unnerving for Chris to hear. “Chris. It’s acting. If I want to do this for a living I need to be a team player. And a love scene with you is the least of my problems. It’ll be an honor in fact.”

“What?”

“Really?” Sebastian balked at him. “You know what? Never mind. How about we dive into this tomorrow with a fresh mind?”

“You sure?” Chris asked. 

“Absolutely,” Sebastian assured him. “We’ll take today to just read over the sides and figure out who’ll be Blanche and who’ll be Mitch.”

“Oh okay,” he replied slowly and softly. 

Chris went directly back to his apartment after class was dismissed. He didn’t have plans, not that he knew of anyway. He was just still a fuzzy, feeling like he wasn’t walking when he was. Speaking nonsense when he knew he made sense because no one was looking at him like he had ten heads sprouting from his neck. The day had just been an odd one. Sebastian was acting nonchalant about working alongside him so Chris should feel the same way. He didn’t though. He was overwhelmed by the idea of spending even more time with Sebastian, maybe even inviting him into his apartment to rehearse. Just the two of them together and the raw emotion of their work. Chris could handle it, be an adult, a professional. He didn’t know why he was reacting the way he was. He could simmer his crush for Sebastian while working alongside him, but a small part of him didn’t trust himself.

“Just kiss him.”

“Scott!” Chris exclaimed. He needed to talk out his feelings and his brother was the only person he could think of. 

“You called me for an unfiltered perspective,” he reminded him. “And I’m giving you it. You’re going to kiss him anyway, might as well get it out of the way.”

“I-I can’t do that,” he stuttered. “That’s invading his privacy.”

“Or prolonging the inevitable,” Scott countered. “Maybe he likes you too, bro. Maybe he’s reacting differently than you because he’s excited to work with you and not afraid like you are.”

“We’re friends, Scott,” Chris sighed. 

“Sure,” he replied sarcastically. “I have no skin in this game, but I can sense when there’s a mutual attraction between two people. From what you’ve told me, Sebastian likes you too.”

“He doesn’t,” Chris was quick to correct him. 

“Whatever you say,” Scott said, rolling his eyes even though Chris couldn’t see him. “Don’t call me in a few weeks and tell me differently when I know I’m right.”

“You won’t be,” he assured him. 

The next day class was a little less stressful but more awkward. They were all immediately put into their pairs, Chris moving away from the comfort of his corner to where Sebastian was standing on the opposite side of the room. Chris had to check himself a few times before engaging in a conversation with him. He kept replaying the conversation he had with Scott the night before in his head. Maybe, maybe Sebastian did reciprocate his feelings, or maybe he was just projecting his own hopes and desires. After figuring out the parts between them things did become less awkward. They both dived into working and perfecting the scene. The nitty gritty of it all would be fleshed out later, right now they just wanted to figure out the nuances of the lines. How they wanted to go about acting it and staging it with the limited resources they had seeing as they were using a classroom and not a real stage. 

“Lift me,” Sebastian told him. 

Chris’s mouth dropped open at the request, his cheeks automatically feeling hot. “Wh-what?”

“Lift me,” he repeated, stepping closer to Chris. “If I’m going to be Blanche I need to make sure you can lift me like the script calls for.”

“I-you-we can omit that part,” Chris replied, internally scolding himself at the panic in his voice. 

Sebastian stomped his feet, sounding like a child, putting his hands on his hips. “Lift me.”

Chris tried to read his face, searching for any kind of sign that he was joking. Sebastian was stone faced, hands firmly on his hips, just waiting. “You-you sure? I mean I know it’s not a carry just a shuffle, but I don’t want to accidentally drop you.”

“Chris,” he groaned. “I’m not made of glass, you won’t break me. Now, lift me.”

“Oh okay. Can you, can you umm, move your hands?” He asked timidly. Chris just stared at Sebastian, perplexed as to what to do next. He didn’t think this far ahead, his mind stopped working after getting Sebastian to move his hands off his hips. Chris would raise his hands but drop them moments after. 

“Chris,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “If you’re uncomfortable touching me we can just scrap this entire thing and fail our final lesson.”

“No!” Chris shouted, getting a few people to turn their heads at his outburst. “Sorry. I mean no. I’m good. We’re good.”

“Good.”

Chris just kept staring at Sebastian contemplating on how to go about moving him. He slowly moved his hand and gently placed them on his hips. Chris tried to ignore the immediate tingle he felt running up his spine. He had touched Sebastian before, a handshake when they were properly introduced, a pat on the back in passing, or even a bump of their shoulders when they rode the train to whatever destination they were heading to. This. This was completely different, intimate. Chris didn’t know where to look, he couldn’t look him directly in the eyes. It felt like it would be too much, too overwhelming. Chris focused on his hands and where he placed his feet. He took a deep breath and made sure he had a good grip on Sebastian before lifting him off his feet and moving him about three feet to the left. He put him down and immediately withdrew his hands from Sebastian’s hips like they were on fire. 

“That-that was good,” Sebastian acknowledged, sounding a little breathless. 

“Yeah,” Chris quickly agreed, rubbing the back of his neck, feeling how hot his skin was. “I’m glad we got that out the way.”

“Yep,” he replied. “Now it’s settled, I’m Blanche and you’re Mitch.”

For the rest of the day and the week, Chris and Sebastian devoted their time to staging their scene. It was hard to really do it seeing their classmates were scattered around the room, but they had to make do with what they were given. Chris was hesitant to start the acting part of the scene, afraid of being vulnerable and open around Sebastian, letting down the final wall he had up around him. For the most part Sebastian knew a lot about him, knew about his family and friends back home. Knew his hopes and fears about being in New York and perusing his acting dreams. He also knew a lot about Sebastian. About his time in Romania and the struggle of moving to America and being an outsider, all the insecurities that came along with that. Chris was confident that he and Sebastian were truly friends, even though he hoped for more. He didn’t want to step on any toes or read too much into everything he and Sebastian did together. Acting and turning into a character felt intimate to Chris, something personal, now he had to share it with Sebastian and that freaked him out frankly. He knew he had to do it, obviously, but he was frightened to do so. 

“Go to the movies with me?” Sebastian asked after class on Friday. 

Chris stopped in his tracks, shocked at the question asked. “Now?”

“Now, later, tomorrow,” Sebastian answered with a shrug. “Whenever you want to.”

“To-tomorrow is good,” he replied. “What do you want to see?”

“Blair Witch Project,” he said. “You heard of it?”

“I didn’t take you as a horror movie guy,” Chris laughed. Chris maneuvered his bag so he can open it and pull out a piece of paper and pen before scribbling on it and handing it over to Sebastian. “That’s my number. Umm in case you want to call me before you head into the city so we can meet somewhere.”

Sebastian hesitantly took the paper and looked it over, smiling. “Is it okay if I call you when I get home so we can pick out times?”

“Yeah,” Chris said, returning the smile. “I’d like that.”

Chris didn’t know why, but he felt like he was floating on air the entire train ride home. He didn’t know what came over him when he gave Sebastian his phone number. He took a chance and it paid off, and paid off well. Sebastian didn’t reject the offer, in fact he gladly accepted it and wanted to call Chris that night. Once he got home Chris was feeling nervous. Sebastian was going to call him that night. What was he going to do? He couldn’t sit around in his apartment waiting for the call, he needed to occupy himself. He knew that it usually took Sebastian an hour to get home, leaving Chris with ample time to do something else to take his mind off the impending call. He showered and made himself something to eat, a sandwich of scraps he had in the fridge. He sat on his couch and channel surfed, trying to find something dull to watch to numb his noisy brain. He kept his eye on the phone, purposely sitting at the end of his small couch to jump to it once he did ring. He even thought about getting up and checking to see if there was a dial tone, to make sure his phone was still working. Chris had to laugh at himself, he was over thinking about an upcoming phone call. 

“Hello?” Chris sounded out of breath when he answered the phone. He had jumped up from the couch and ran ten feet. 

“Chris?”

“Sebastian?” He asked to be sure. 

“Yeah it’s me,” he replied with a laugh. “You weren’t busy, right? I didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

“No, no,” he assured him. “Just trying to find something to watch on television. No such luck.”

“Okay. So I checked on movie times if that’s okay,” he told him. “I thought we could go to the AMC down by Union Square.”

“I know where that is,” Chris said, sounding proud of himself. “It’s not that far from me.”

“That’s why I chose it,” Sebastian laughed. “Don’t need you getting lost in the city without me.”

Twenty minutes later Chris hung up the phone and sighed. Talking to Sebastian was effortless, and felt calming. They settled on a location and time to meet the next day, brainstorming ideas on what to do after the movie let out. Chris was genuinely looking forward to the next day. Hanging out with Sebastian in any capacity was great, he always enjoyed their time together. Chris also didn't remember the last time he saw a movie in the theater and why not pop his New York City movie theater experience with Sebastian. Chris even had the courage to invite Sebastian back to his apartment after the movie to run lines and practice their scene without the interruption of school. That thought made Chris nervous even though at the time it felt right, like he needed to do it. Chris looked around his apartment and realized he lived like a typical eighteen year old who was on his own for the first time of his life. That’s when the panic cleaning began. It wasn’t overly dirty, but Chris couldn’t have Sebastian at his apartment when it looked like it did. 

“My birthday’s next week,” Sebastian casually mentioned the next day. They were waiting on line to purchase their tickets to the movie when an uncomfortable silence fell upon them. “I’m turning seventeen.”

Chris hummed in acknowledgment. “Have any plans?”

“I always do something on the day with my mom,” he answered bashfully. “But Britt wants to grab dinner or something and she’s inviting Brett so I thought I ummm invite you. If that’s okay. If-if you’re not busy.”

“Seb, I go to class and come home,” Chris laughed. “I’m not busy.”

“Good,” he replied with a smile. “Good. So it’s settled. I’ll tell Britt.”

After being on a high from being asked to hangout for Sebastian’s birthday, Chris felt like he was crashing once they got to their seats in the theater. He knew they weren’t on a date, just two friends going to the movies together but it hurt him when Sebastian bought his own ticket and suggested that they both get separate drinks and food at the concession stand. The theater was relatively empty, seeing the movie had already been out for close to a month, so they were able to sit wherever they wanted to. Chris felt antsy the entire time leading up to the opening credits. He was a talker during movies, not too loud to disturb other people, but he liked to make little comments here and there if he found something interesting. The previews were always his favorite, seeing the movies that were going to be released and giving his opinion on them. He didn’t know if Sebastian was the same. Chris kept quiet, cataloging everything in his mind that he wanted to tell Scott about when he spoke to him again. 

The movie had Chris sitting on the edge of his seat the whole time. The suspense was getting to him, and he was enjoying it. He had read reviews and read the synopsis of the movie but seeing it was a totally different experience. He’d look at Sebastian out of the corner of his eye from time to time and saw him sitting on the edge of his seat as well. The movie lived up to its hype, it was spooky and messed with your mind. With movies like this, if Chris and Sebastian were on a date, one of them would have put an arm around the other, nestling in close to hide their eyes when something scary happens. But this wasn’t a date, this was two friends spending time together in a dark, nearly empty, movie theater. That was it. After the movie, despite eating popcorn and candy, the duo grabbed a late lunch at a deli by Chris’s apartment before making their way to Chris’s apartment as planned. 

“I know it’s not impressive,” Chris said after he gave Sebastian a tour of his apartment. “But it’s home until I move into the dorms in two weeks.”

“It’s cozy,” Sebastian told him, making himself comfortable on the small couch. “Feels like home.”

“It is,” he agreed, hesitantly taking a seat on the couch. He was so close to Sebastian but not close enough. If he moved his hand an inch or two he could lace their fingers together and that was not a thought Chris wanted right now or ever. He cleared his throat to find his voice. “Do you, umm, want anything to drink? I’ve got water and juice. I can make coffee if you want.”

“Chris, Chris,” he shushed him. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Do you want to watch tv?” He asked, reaching forward to the coffee table to retrieve the remote, he needed to do something with his hands. “I don’t know what’s on but we can find something?”

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asked, turning his body to face Chris fully. “You’ve been acting odd since the movie.”

Chris could feel his jaw drop at Sebastian’s words. Was he acting out of character? He thought he was hiding his awkwardness and anxiety well. “I’m-I’m good. Do you want to run lines? Of course you do, that’s why you're here.”

“Chris,” he soothed him with a low voice. “I’m here because I like spending time with you. You want to watch tv? Okay. Run lines? Fine by me, too.”

Chris dropped the remote back on the coffee table and tried to stretch out his trembling hands. He needed to calm himself down because he was doing too much. He stood up and headed towards his backpack that was by his computer. He took the script out of his bag and turned to Sebastian. “Can we run lines?”

Sebastian stood up with a bounce. “Absolutely. I don’t have my sides but we can share, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Chris answered hesitantly. 

Running lines and rehearsing with Sebastian was easier. Easier than trying to be himself and entertain him with a movie or show on the television. Even though Chris felt like acting alongside someone was intimate it was better for him to be someone else than himself. He was able to slip into Mitch’s skin and embody him. He liked Mitch, he was young and curious and full of life as opposed to Blanche who was a walking mystery. Chris was anxious to see what Sebastian would do with the character, catering to his strengths and whatever ideas he had in his mind. They had to share the script, which took some getting used to, but after a while it became easy to navigate for the two of them. Chris was trying to distract his mind, knowing full well what was lying ahead of them towards the end of the scene. He just tried to focus on what was in front of him instead of skipping ahead, but his mind couldn’t settle. 

“You want to rework the ending?” Chris abruptly asked. 

“Huh?” Sebastian asked, the script he was holding dangling from his hand. 

“The ending,” he repeated, biting his lip and looking away from Sebastian’s stare. “The umm the kiss.”

Sebastian groaned and threw his head back in frustration. “Chris. Do you not want to do this with me? I feel like I have to keep asking you this question and it’s getting distracting.”

“No!” He exclaimed. He rubbed the heels of his palms into his face. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. First you’re forced to do a scene with another guy and the scene calls for a kiss. I don’t want you to do something you’re not okay with.”

“Chris,” Sebastian said his name with a laugh. “I’m more than okay with kissing another guy, kissing you. I’m bisexual, if you haven’t noticed.”

Chris felt like he was punched in the chest, his chest aching. It was a bomb that was dropped on him and it was a bomb he wanted to hear. Not that it changed anything between them, but if Chris thought he had a tiny shot with Sebastian, here it was. Chris smiled down at Sebastian, staring into his favorite ocean blue colored eyes. “Me-me too.”

“So that’s settled,” he began firmly, “we’re okay with kissing each other, for the purpose of the scene of course.”

“Of course,” Chris agreed with a nod. 

The rehearsal went great, at least according to Chris it did. He was taken aback by Sebastian’s skill and attention to the details as he just dove head first into his character. He wanted to go over his monologue to get it right and Chris let him. He just stood back and watched Sebastian work the scene over and over, trying to get it right. He did have all the lines down just yet but he was more concerned with getting the tone and emotion mastered first. It was a heavy monologue and wordy, it was a lot to unpack, and Sebastian wanted to perfect it. Chris was mesmerized by Sebastian’s attention to detail, how he could almost make himself cry at the drop of a dime. His eyes watered, his lips shining from biting and licking them in an anxious manner. Any hesitation Chris may have had with working alongside Sebastian was quickly squashed after seeing him work in close proximity. Chris honestly felt slightly intimated, acting with Sebastian. Seeing him slot so easily into his character like he was Blanche, or the male equivalent of her. They ran through the script twice, purposely ignoring the little shuffle and kiss towards the end. They both knew it would have to be done eventually, but clearly they both ignored the elephant in the room. 

The next week in class seemed to be easier to navigate for Chris. He’d get there and know where to stand as opposed to his previous corner he’d hole himself to. Steven and Kayla, along with Brittany and Brett, and even Skylar would greet him warmly before going off to their own thing, rehearsing as well. Sebastian would shuffle in minutes before class began, usually with two cups of coffee in his hands, one for himself and one for Chris. It was a routine that they had built over the last few weeks. Chris didn’t know how Sebastian knew, but he knew Chris’s coffee order perfectly. Things went smoothly between the two of them when it came to rehearsal. It seemed effortless by now. They knew they had to really do an entire run through of the scene at least twice before the next week, the week they had to present to the class. Everything else was pretty much locked in and worked out completely, except the kiss. He’d look around the class and see his classmates just dive in headfirst, kissing each other like it meant nothing, which it actually was true. A bunch of teenagers and people in their early twenties just kissing random people was the norm. That would be true for Chris if his scene partner wasn’t Sebastian Stan, the guy he had liked a lot. He knew when they eventually kissed it would open a can of worms inside of Chris. 

“Happy birthday,” Chris greeted Sebastian on Friday, handing him a cup of coffee. 

Sebastian ducked his head to try and hide his blush. “Thank you.”

“How does it feel to be another year older?” Chris asked with a teasing tone to his voice. 

“Good,” he answered with a shrug. “Birthdays were always odd to me. My mom goes over the top every year. I’m her only child so I get it.”

“I’m really looking forward to the dinner tomorrow,” Chris told him. “Next week’s going to be crazy, between the last week of class and me moving into the dorms.”

“You start packing yet?” Sebastian asked, taking a sip of the coffee Chris has given to him. His eyes immediately went wide after the sip. “You got my coffee order right.”

Chris smiled and felt the back of his neck heat up. “I pay attention Seb, I listen to everything you say.”

Sebastian returned the smile, the tension between the two of them felt palpable. “Thank-thank you.”

Poor Sebastian was hounded by almost all their classmates that day. Everyone wanted to wish him a happy birthday, some resorting to giving him birthday punches because they all treated him like a child, which he was. Sebastian was the youngest person in the entire class at now the age of seventeen. Everyone was either about to start college or already in college and Sebastian was the only one still in high school. It was good to see him blush, or at least it was for Chris. Seeing his cheeks pink up in embarrassment was endearing. The worst was when Eliza made everyone sing to him at the end of class. Sebastian tucked his head into his chest and tried to hide from the onslaught of singing, a lot of it off key but everyone meant well. After class Brittany made sure everyone who was going to attend the dinner the next night was informed on the plans. It was going to be a low key get together, just four to six people having dinner and celebrating another year of Sebastian. Chris was looking forward to it, his last chance to spend time with these people before the chaos of the last week of class and the start of a new school year for them all. 

Chris arrived at the restaurant the next day a little before six, the time Brittany told them all to meet. They were all going to gather outside before their reservation at six. Chris got off the train at the Times Square stop and was immediately inundated with the chaos that was the tourist attraction. It wasn’t one of the places Sebastian had taken him during their excursions due to the fact that Times Square wasn’t as exciting as the other parts of the city. Chris now could see why. It was too crowded, people moving about everywhere, or just stopping and staring at the flashing billboards all over. When he headed towards the restaurant he passed people dressed up as Mickey Mouse and Elmo, taking pictures with tourists for money. Chris could understand the hype of it all but he couldn’t see himself getting wrapped up in the excitement, maybe he was slowly becoming a jaded New Yorker after all. In front of the restaurant stood Steven, Kayla, and Skylar. Of course Brittany, Brett, and Sebastian were going to be fashionably late. 

“It’s good to see you without your hip attachment, Chris,” Skylar joked as a greeting. 

Chris looked at the three people in front of him with a pinched expression on his face. “What hip attachment?”

“Sebastian,” she elaborated with an eye roll. “For the last month you two have been inseparable. Everyone is coupling up and I’m all alone.”

“Sky,” Chris sighed. “He and I aren’t coupling up. That’s Britt and Brett.”

“Sure,” Kayla replied with a sarcastic head nod. “Ask Chris what he did last weekend.”

“What did you do last weekend, Chris?” Steven asked with hum. 

Chris sighed and rolled his eyes like a child. What was with the third degree from people he assumed were his friends. “I went to the movies.”

“With Sebastian,” Skylar quickly added. “Then they went back to his place to quote unquote run lines.”

“So,” Chris responded. “Wait! How do you know all this?”

“He gushed about all your adventures together with Britt who then runs and tells the entire group,” Skylar answered with a shrug. “No one’s making fun, Chris. I think I can speak for Kayla and Steven when I say that we’re rooting for you two crazy kids.”

“T-thanks,” Chris said hesitantly. “But there’s nothing to root for. We’re just friends.”

“Sure,” Kayla added. “You like him and he obviously likes you but you’re both too stupid to notice. Typical Hollywood movie trope.”

“He doesn’t like me,” Chris scoffed, looking around hoping Sebastian, Brittany, and Brett would show up quickly. 

“Oh he totally does,” Kayla told him, Steve and Skylar nodding in agreement. 

“Stop,” Chris told them harshly.

Luckily the teasing stopped right before the rest of the people arrived. Sebastian basked in the attention he received. He was embarrassed the day before from everyone doting on him but felt more comfortable with people he knew and trusted. The restaurant Brittany and Sebastian chose was Mars 2112, an outer space themed establishment. It was a major tourist attraction in the heart of Times Square. When they first walked in they were immediately greeted by alien paraphernalia, the gift shop to their right. A hostess directed them towards the elevator which was decorated like a spaceship. Chris was giddy by it all, he secretly loved NASA and all things space. He tried not to notice how Sebastian was idling close to him the entire time. He was trying to ignore Kayla and Skylar’s earlier remarks. They were friends and they gravitated towards each other, that was all. The hair on the back of Chris’s neck stood up when they were escorted to their table and Sebastian told him to sit next to him. Everyone’s eyebrows raised immediately and some of them, mostly Skylar and Kayla, smirked in Chris’s direction at the request. Chris did sit next to Sebastian, trying to ignore the butterflies taking flight in his stomach, he was going to pretend that it was just hunger pains. 

Overall, the dinner went well. Everyone was chatting and talking about a plethora of topics. Mostly about school and how rehearsals were going. Questions were obviously directed a lot towards Chris and Sebastian and how they were making it work seeing the scene was romantic and catered to a heterosexual relationship. They were direct with their responses, ignoring the question obvious smirks from around the entire table. Did everyone know about Chris’s crush on Sebastian and forget to tell him? They were purposely trying to rile them up, getting any sort of dirt on what was happening, or not happening, between the two of them. Luckily Sebastian seemed to not notice or not care and what their friends were alluding to. The food was amazing, all of it with an outer space twist to it. Chris already knew that he wanted to go to the gift shop after they ate and buy as much merchandise as possible. That was the one thing he was focusing on instead of the side looks and the allusive questions being directed at him and Sebastian. 

“What are you going to buy?” Sebastian asked him. 

Chris was standing in the gift shop after they ate. Kayla, Steven, and Skylar had already left, Brittany and Brett hanging around with him. “I don’t know, everything.”

“Is it too nerdy of me to get the spaceship pencil case?” Sebastian asked. “Walk into my senior year of high school with that.”

“Do it,” Chris encouraged him. “Everyone would be jealous.”

Sebastian grabbed the pencil case with a content hum. He also grabbed a few other school supplies that were outer space themed. “Hey Chris?”

Chris was on the other side of the shop by now, looking at the freeze dried food and actually contemplating getting some. “Yeah, Seb?”

“Are you busy tomorrow?” He asked, walking the ten feet to where Chris was. 

“I don’t think so, no.”

Sebastian looked down at his feet and shook his head before looking back up at Chris, biting his lip. “Can I come by? Run lines. We have the performance this week and I’d really like to do a full run through, like the entire scene.”

Chris audibly swallowed at the question. A full run through of the scene only meant one thing, the kiss. A chaste kiss but a kiss nonetheless. He knew it had to be done but he didn’t want to think about it, hence why he kept pushing it off for the last two weeks. “Yeah-yeah, sure. Come by around noon, okay?”

“Noon,” Sebastian repeated. “Got it.”

Chris didn’t sleep well on Saturday night. He got home at a decent time, a little before ten, but he couldn’t sleep. His body was exhausted but his mind couldn’t shut off. He knew what was keeping him up but he didn’t want to think about it, despite his mind constantly reminding him. Sebastian was going to come over and have a proper rehearsal of their scene, kiss and all. Chris had been dreaming and hoping for this day since he met Sebastian close to six weeks ago. He had caught himself more than once just staring at Sebastian’s mouth when he was talking or laughing or even smiling. Wondering what his lips felt like. Were they soft like Chris had imagined? Or a little dry and chapped due to him biting them so much when he was nervous or deep in thought? Either way it was keeping him awake when he needed his rest. Reluctantly he got up around eight to shower and make himself a pot of coffee. If he was going to be a productive member of society he needed to be highly caffeinated. Chris wanted to be comfortable but he just felt on edge, checking the clock almost every ten minutes. He tried to distract his mind by watching tv and even running his lines by himself so he was more comfortable with the scene, but he couldn’t concentrate. 

“Okay,” Sebastian said after he arrived at Chris’s apartment. He dropped his bag off on the couch and used the bathroom, emerging a few minutes later. “Just a quick run through first and then we can tackle the entire scene with meaning.”

Chris nodded his head, his palms starting to sweat. “Sounds-sounds good.”

“Let’s go by the couch to give it a more realistic vibe,” Sebastian suggested. “Okay so we just came back from the date. Let’s skip ahead to the part where they’re in the apartment. Yeah?”

Chris nodded his head again, his voice somehow stuck in his throat. They ran this part of the scene multiple times, why was he so nervous all of a sudden?

Sebastian sat on the couch, patting the seat next to him. “Sit. We’ll skip ahead to the part of the conversation where Mitch asks Blanche about her age, towards the end. We never really had a good grasp on it, yet.”

“Y-yeah,” Chris agreed, tentatively sitting down close to Sebastian. He let out a breath from his nose, trying to hype him up. “I’ll start?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, getting himself comfortable. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Chris asked as Mitch. 

“Yes, what?” Sebastian responded as Blanche. 

“How old are you?”

Sebastian as Blanche tenses up at the question. “Why do you want to know?”

“I talked to my mother about you and she said, ‘how old is Blanche?’ And I wasn’t able to tell her,” Chris responded. His stomach tightened at the line, feeling art and reality blurring for a moment. He had told his mom and Scott all about Sebastian from the moment they met. 

“You talked to your mother about me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” 

“I told my mother how nice you were, and I liked you,” Chris said. He felt a little dizzy as he spoke, he felt like he wasn’t even acting, he was just speaking his truth. 

Chris was feeling overwhelmed as they continued the scene. He knew what was coming, it was no use at this point to deny the inevitable. Sebastian had to do his monologue, which he perfected beautifully. The cadence of the scene, the push and pull of emotions throughout the text. He knew when to pause for dramatic effect, when to speed up his speech to represent the madness that Blanche was feeling what she was going through. Eliza had let them know that she was going to provide the polka sounds when the scene called for it, so Sebastian knew when to pause for the sound and when to keep going as the scene called for. Chris knew that after the monologue it was the queue for the kiss. He just found it semi ironic that Sebastian’s monologue was Blanche speaking about catching her late husband with another man that the guilt was so heavy a burden he killed himself, leaving her a widow and full of guilt and shame. Now they were two men, openly bisexual, playing a heterosexual couple wrapped in a homosexual affair. Chris tried to pay full attention, waiting for his queue to speak, to move in. Sebastian stood up to finish his monologue, Chris following his lead like they had rehearsed before. 

Chris softly and slowly pulled Sebastian into his arms, holding onto him for dear life. He became lightheaded at the sensation, it felt right, like he belonged. Here went nothing. “You need somebody. And I need somebody too. Could it be—you and me, Blanche?”

Sebastian was still in character as he stared up at Chris, who was only a few inches taller, his eyes vacant. He huddled closer into Chris’s embrace, putting his head on his chest to stop the sobs escaping from his chest. Chris sighed deeply, bracing himself. He was okay, this was okay. This was just acting, nothing was real. Chris remained in character as he soothed Sebastian as Blanche. Moving his face to hold into his hands as the scene called for. Chris tentatively moved forward to kiss his forehead, feeling his soft skin on his lips. Sebastian closed his eyes, then Chris planted a kiss on both eyelids in an effort to calm him down, sooth him. Finally, without much preamble, he leaned a little further down and pressed a kiss to Sebastian’s lips. It was short but soft and Chris felt his insides light up, like someone set a match in his chest. He quickly removed his hands from Sebastian’s face, who was looking up at him in what looked like awe, maybe a little surprised, perhaps disappointed. 

“Sometimes—there’s God—so quickly!” Sebastian proclaimed to end the scene. 

Chris immediately let go of Sebastian and stepped back, breaking the tension that occurred during the scene. He couldn’t read Sebastian, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. Was he still reeling from the raw emotion of the scene or was he just as overwhelmed as Chris felt? He didn’t know how to gauge the conversation now. Did he ignore the elephant in the room or just barrel right through it? He scrubbed at his face roughly with the palms of his hand, waiting for Sebastian to speak first. Sebastian echoed Chris’s movements, scrubbing at his own face harshly, breaking himself out of whatever headspace he was in. Chris still waited, a little impatiently, for Sebastian to make the first move, do or say anything to give Chris a sign that everything was okay. 

“Wow,” Sebastian finally spoke, his cheeks were tainted pink and he was smiling. 

“Wow?” Chris repeated hesitantly. He still stood a few feet away, hands shoved in his pockets, unsure of what to do. 

“The-the scene,” he explained, his voice shaky. “Intense. Good.”

“Yeah,” he quickly agreed. “The kiss?”

“Hmm?”

“The kiss was okay, yeah? I didn’t overstep anything?” He asked, fishing for any information from Sebastian that he wasn’t the only one who felt something during that brief moment. 

“It was good, nice,” he told him with a smile, biting at his lip. 

“Yeah,” Chris quietly agreed. 

Oddly, the rest of the day went relatively smoothly. Nothing else was awkward between the two. They went through the scene once more, minus the kiss. Sebastian left the apartment close to three o’clock feeling confident that they were well prepared for the week ahead. Chris sat down on his couch once he was alone and was just affected by the day. His head felt fuzzy, like he was drowning. He kept going back to the five seconds where his lips were on Sebastian’s, how he could close his eyes and still see it happening, still feel it on his lips. A brief moment that shook him completely. He kept replaying the moments after it happened over and over again in his mind. How Sebastian reacted or not reacted. Was Chris reading too much into it? Was he projecting his own feelings onto Sebastian? Chris didn’t know, all he did know was that the next week was going to be a whirlwind. Before he went to bed he got all his things ready for the next day, picking out his clothes, anything to occupy his mind with other things other than Sebastian. 

Chris woke up feeling confident, still a little unsure, but confident. The week ahead of him was going to be busy, a good distraction. The last week of class plus packing up his tiny Village apartment and moving across town to the NYU dorms. All he really needed to pack was everything he took with him when he made the trip to New York. His mom was going to send him a few more things to make his dorm room feel a little more like home. Chris also needed to buy little odds and ends to decorate the room, as well as desk lamps and other essentials. He strolled into class a little before nine, saying hello to his group of friends he was ultimately going to miss when they all went separate ways on Friday. He was shocked when Sebastian made a beeline to him with a cup of coffee for him. It was their thing, Chris didn’t know when it became a thing, but it was and he looked forward to it everyday. 

Steven and Kayla were chosen to go first with their scene. Eliza just chose them at random to kick it off. That left Chris feeling a little uneasy, when it was his turn he wouldn’t have time to psyche himself up. He just had to go up in front of the class and perform. No time to mentally prepare himself for kissing Sebastian in front of the entire class, almost half of them knowing how he felt about Sebastian. Steven and Kayla did well, Chris and the rest of the class were impressed. The look of playful disgust on Kayla’s face after they kissed got everyone to laugh, broke the uneasiness and tension that was palpable in the room. It was always difficult to be the first to go but now they could sit back and relax, watch everyone else and silently criticize their interpretation of the scene. 

“I’m putting the schedule by the door!” Eliza announced at the end of the day. “So you all know ahead of time when it’s your turn to go.”

Of course there was a mad dash to the door after the announcement. Chris stayed back and smartly waited until the crowd died down before walking over. He gripped the strap of his bag tighter, feeling his palms sweat. He had nothing to be worried or anxious about but it still made him nervous. He checked the dates searching for his name. In big, bold black lettering under Thursday’s schedule was his and Sebastian’s name, the first pair to perform right after their lunch break. It gave them a few days to sharpen up, which was good, even though Chris felt like they were well rehearsed and ready to go right now. 

“Don’t eat anything with garlic that day,” Sebastian joked as he walked up and stood next to Chris. 

Chris looked over at Sebastian and smiled. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Nervous?” He asked. 

“No-no,” he answered with a shrug. “Just can’t wait for it to be over and done with.”

Sebastian hung his head briefly at Chris’s words. “Yea-yeah. Me too.”

The week flew by much to Chris’s surprise. He was keeping himself busy for a majority of it. Packing up what little he had taken to New York with him. Going shopping to get the little odds and ends he was going to be taking with him to his new location. The thought of starting college in a few short days was finally sinking in. The summer had flown by in a bit of a haze for Chris. He kept busy with going to class and discovering New York with Sebastian’s guidance. Overall it was good summer, a great experience, one he’d never forget and forever cherish. Class was going well, seeing his friends and classmates and how they interpreted the same scene. Eliza had to lightly scold Brett and Brittany when their innocent kiss almost ended up with them dry humping in front of everyone. It got a good laugh, though, which broke the tension. Chris was looking forward to Thursday, finally. He felt ready, more than prepared. He and Sebastian had practiced and rehearsed more times than either one of them could count. They could run the scene in their sleep by now. 

On Thursday morning, that’s when Chris felt the nerves set in. He and Sebastian had hardly spoken to each other that day, Chris didn’t know if it was due to nerves or something else. Either way he had to forget about it and just charge forward. He knew that after lunch it was his turn to step forward. Show the class, and especially Eliza, that the last six weeks had paid off and that he was an actor and if he applied himself he could make a living out of it, despite the odds that were stacked against him. He hardly ate his lunch, the anxiety of the situation making him feel a little sick to his stomach. Sebastian was still acting distant towards him, which was more odd than usual. Maybe it was all part of his preparation, Chris didn’t know. He couldn’t concern himself with Sebastian at the moment, he had to focus on himself, settle himself. Everyone around him unconsciously knew to leave him be, let him prepare and settle himself alone. He went to the bathroom before heading back to class, splashing water on his face and quickly brushing his teeth with a travel size toothbrush and toothpaste that he bought at the pharmacy before class. He didn’t eat anything that could turn Sebastian off, but he was better safe than sorry. 

“You okay?” Sebastian whispered to him before they began. 

Chris nodded his head, a little unsure. “Just a little nerves.”

“Just focus on me,” he told him softly. “Pretend that we’re in your apartment. Just me and you, no one else is around. That’s what I’m going to do.”

“Just me and you,” Chris repeated confidently. “Let’s do this, Seb.”

The scene was going effortlessly, or at least Chris thought it was. He and Sebastian fed off each other perfectly. Chris was completely honed in on Sebastian who was just as attentive as Chris. They were bouncing off each other with such ease that it felt like a conversation between two people instead of them acting out a scene. Chris tried not to look at everyone looking at them, didn’t want their response to dictate how he acted. He could see his friends, their friends, out of the corner of his eye smiling widely and truly interested in what was unfolding in front of them. The backend of the scene was quickly approaching and Chris could feel the butterflies taking flight in his stomach, feeling it tighten up inside of him. The words were bouncing between them easily, Chris and Sebastian knowing their marks like it wasn’t their first time doing this scene in front of others. Chris took Sebastian’s advice to heart, pretending he was back in his apartment and it was just the two of them and no one else. Chris stood up from the chairs that Eliza had them use as a makeshift couch. Here went nothing. 

He grabbed Sebastian in his arms to sooth him as he ended his breathtaking monologue. It was the best Sebastian had ever done, the emotions were gut wrenching, raw and real. Chris took a deep breath as he placed a kiss to his head, moving to his eyelids, and taking a deep breath before kissing his lips. Chris stared down at Sebastian with wide eyes once they pulled away. He had to keep his composure to end the scene but Chris could’ve sworn that Sebastian tried to deepen the kiss. He wasn’t losing his mind, or so he hoped he wasn’t. Sebastian totally lightly sucked on his bottom lips as Chris kissed him. The scene ended, the applause from his classmates breaking his train of thought. He graciously accepted congratulations from Eliza and others, but he was still staring at Sebastian who was off talking lowly with Brittany. Chris’s head was all over the place. Why would Sebastian try to deepen the kiss, change what they rehearsed? It didn’t make any sense to him. As soon as Sebastian was free and alone, Chris made his way towards him. 

“Can we talk?” He asked, his eyes scanning the room. No one was paying them any attention, it was a perfect time for a heart to heart conversation. 

Sebastian nodded, biting his lip. “Yeah. Let’s go out in the hall.”

They walked the few feet into the hall in silence, Chris trying to figure out what to say, how to articulate what he wanted to convey. 

“How’d you think the scene went?” Sebastian asked once they were far enough away from prying eyes and ears. 

Chris balked at Sebastian, mouth open in shock. “Really? How’d the scene go? Sebastian, what the hell happened?”

“What?”

“You kissed me back!” Chris exclaimed, hands flying in the air. “Why? Why did you do that?”

Sebastian ducked his head for a moment, Chris seeing him take a deep breath before he raised his head to meet Chris’s gaze. “I like you, Chris. I have since we met.”

“Wha-what?”

“I. Like. You,” Sebastian repeated slowly, letting the words hang in air between them. “You really think I took you to my favorite places in New York because I’m a good person?”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He asked, scrubbing at his face harshly with his palms. This wasn’t real. Chris wasn’t hearing Sebastian correctly. His chest felt heavy, his hands sweaty, his stomach fluttering with butterflies. 

“I didn’t want to make things awkward between the two of us,” he explained. “We’re good as friends and if that’s all I was going to get, I was going to take it.”

“But Sebastian,” he began, taking a step forward, bridging the gap between the two of them. “I feel the same.”

Sebastian’s hands flexed as they hovered between the two of them. He wanted to reach forward and grab a hold of Chris but was forcing himself not to. “You do?”

“Yes,” Chris nodded enthusiastically. “Since the day I laid my eyes on you. I thought it was only one way so I kept my mouth shut. Why do you think I was so hesitant to kiss you?”

“Because you didn’t like me like that,” Sebastian supplied. “God, we really just let the past six weeks happen and neither of us had the courage to make the first move.”

Chris smiled at Sebastian, shaking his head at all the information that he just received. All the times he thought he was being brushed off or was reading too much into something was incorrect. He had made himself overthink everything, talking himself out of Sebastian feeling the same way. He took another small step, placing his hands on Sebastian’s hips, looking into his eyes to make sure it was okay. Sebastian moved his hands that were desperately wanting to grab onto Chris and finally did so. They’d had kissed before, twice now, but this, this was something different, something new. Chris’s head felt groggy, like he was drunk, when he kissed Sebastian for the third time in his life. He could feel him gasp against his lips, which had him smirking. It felt good, right, like this was what he was supposed to be doing the last six weeks. He waited and waited so long it felt like it was a dream come true. It was only moments before that he had kissed Sebastian, but now, now this was for real. His grip got tighter on his hips, he felt the small tug on his shirt as Sebastian deepened the kiss between them. The press of his tongue at the seam of his lips, asking, begging him to open up. It was hard to ignore the slight moan that escaped his lips once he had opened up for Sebastian, angling his head to get better access and leverage between them. 

Chris felt lightheaded and overcome with emotion, emotions he couldn’t even think to name. This was happening and he wasn’t going to wake up from a dream, because he most certainly dreamt about this exact moment many times. The feel of Sebastian’s soft lips against his, and they were soft, his smell so close to him, encompassing him. The feel of his fingertips gripping onto his shirt for life, to feel closer to him. Chris felt it too, wanted it. But they were in public and everything was still new and fresh and now there were more questions than answers but Chris’s brain wasn’t thinking clearly. His dick was in charge right now and for the most part that would’ve been fine, but they were in public. All their friends and classmates were only a few feet away from them. Chris had to pry himself away from Sebastian’s mouth, which he did so reluctantly. Resting his forehead against Sebastian’s, trying to catch their breaths. 

“Come home with me,” Chris told him, his voice rough and deep. 

“Chris,” Sebastian gasped at the request. 

“Please,” he pleaded, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout. 

“Tomorrow,” he compromised. “After class. Me and you and your apartment, okay?”

Chris took a deep breath and nodded, moving off of Sebastian, sadly, finally. “Fine. Tomorrow.”

For the rest of class on Thursday they were glued to each other. Ignoring the looks from their friends and seeing the questions lingering on their lips. Both Chris and Sebastian just smirked at them and let them think what they wanted to. There were still more things they had to work out themselves, things they couldn’t address in public and right away. At three they were dismissed for the day, the heavy feeling of knowing that the next day was the last day. The last time they’d all be in the same room. Friendships that were formed would more than likely end, everyone going their separate ways. A heavy pit of something was felt in Chris’s stomach. In a weeks time he’d be living in his dorm room starting college while Sebastian was back upstate starting his senior year of high school. If they made something out of their mutual attraction, how was it going to work? When and how would they see each other? Were weekends going to be enough? Eventually life and the real world would get in their way. The bubble they were in would eventually burst. 

Friday’s class was bittersweet. Only one duo was left to perform their scene and after that Eliza let them be and enjoy their last few hours together. Phone numbers were exchanged and even some tears were shed by some. Chris made sure he had all his friends contact information, hoping and promising to each in touch as best as possible. They were all staying in the tristate area so it wasn’t impossible to all meet in the city one day or weekend to sit and catch up on life. Brett kept giving him looks, silently asking for all the details about whatever was happening between him and Sebastian. Questions he couldn’t answer, not yet anyway. Once they were dismissed it felt like it was a mad dash to get back to his apartment with Sebastian. The tension between them hung heavy. Everything was amped up. The unspeakable promise of more was palpable. Chris’s fingers twitching while they were on the train heading downtown to his apartment. They hardly spoke, sharing smiles and smirks, nervousness seeping into Chris’s veins. He didn’t want Sebastian to think he was pressuring him to do anything. If he wanted to, Chris was more than okay with just talking in private. 

As soon as Chris closed his apartment door with a loud lock, Sebastian was pushing him against the door. “Oh okay.”

“Is this not what you want?” Sebastian asked, talking a small step back. 

“I do,” he told him. “I just didn’t want to assume anything.”

“Chris,” Sebastian sighed. “I’ve waited six long weeks. I want this so much. Okay. Don’t worry.”

Chris nodded, reaching forward to pull Sebastian closer to him, mouths immediately on each other. He dropped his bag on the floor as he walked them to the couch, spinning them so Chris sat down, pulling Sebastian onto his lap. He gripped tightly at his hips as Sebastian slowly grinded his hips down on Chris’s, letting out a hiss at the friction. Okay, so this is where they were heading. Chris repositioned Sebastian as he jutted his hips up and forward, seeking that feeling once more. The thumping noise of their shoes falling to the floor echoed in the room along with their heavy breathing. Chris’s brain felt like it was empty, all rational thought gone. All he could think about was the feeling of Sebastian on top of him, feeling his hands creep under his shirt, on his skin. Chris moved his hands from Sebastian’s hips to grab onto his thighs, forcing him to stay still. 

“This okay?” Chris asked, moving his mouth away from Sebastian. “We don’t have to do anything.”

Sebastian rested his head against Chris’s chest, kissing along his collarbone. “If you don’t touch me I might die.”

“Noted,” Chris laughed, squeezing at Sebastian’s thighs once again. 

Sebastian looked up at Chris with hooded lids, his pupils blown wide and dark. Chris couldn’t even see a hint of his favorite ocean blue anymore. He lifted his hips and reached down to unzip his jeans and pop open the bottom unceremoniously. He was hurried, desperate for Chris to touch him, to get some sort of relief, friction. He moved out of his pants as best as he could, using his legs for balance to hover over Chris and harshly shoved his jeans down and past his knees. He remained hovering over Chris as the older boy unbuttoned his own pants and pushed them down past his knees as well. Sebastian gasped when Chris grabbed him roughly by his waist and put him back in his lap. They still had the thin layer of their boxers between them but the sensation was overwhelming.

“I’m a virgin,” Sebastian croaked out, ducking his head a little in embarrassment. 

Chirs placed his hand under Sebastian’s chin and lifted his face up so he was looking at Chris directly. “This doesn’t have to be that, okay? Whatever you want, babe, I’m fine with that.”

“Okay,” he replied softly, nodding his head. He leaned in for another kiss, escalating it quickly, as Chris let him set the pace. He grabbed the front of Chris’s shirt, moving it up so it was tucked underneath his armpits, his fingers tracing the hair that led from his belly button to the where his underpants lied. Chris just kept his hands on Sebastian’s hips, his thumbs tracing patterns against the material of his boxers. “Touch me.”

“You sure?” Chris aske, his voice hoarse and raw. He placed soft kisses along Sebastian’s jaw before moving down to his neck and collarbone. “I’m fine with just this if you want.”

“Touch me,” he repeated, rubbing his hips against Chris’s, both hissing at the feeling. 

They rutted together for a while, groaning and moaning into each other’s mouth, gasping for air. Teeth clashing as they kissed, desperate to overpower the other. Chris pulled Sebastian closer, pulling him in by his waist. Sebastian had taken off his shirt halfway through everything, throwing it haphazardly somewhere on the living room floor. He raked his nails up and down Chris’s chest, dragging his nails across his nipples, loving the noises he made at the sensation. Every time he dragged a nail over the sensitive skin Chris would buck his hips up, almost throwing Sebastian off his lap if he wasn’t holding onto him tightly around his waist. Chris’s head was heavy, his entire body feeling like it was on fire. He was loving the feeling of Sebastian on top of him, his body feeling heavy on his in the most beautiful of ways. He needed more though, he refused to come in his pants, he wanted Sebastian’s hands on his skin. He grabbed his hand and laced it with his own, taking it off his chest and moving it lower. Sebastian just stared at him wide eyed, looking into Chris’s eyes for answers. Chris visibly swallowed the lump in his throat that was full of nerves and trepidation. He felt things he couldn’t even put into words when he felt Sebastian’s hand on his dick, the air was sucked out of his lungs and the simplest of touch. He let go out his hand and tugged his boxers down as best as he could, now fully exposed to the boy above him. He didn’t ask or demand anything of Sebastian, let him set the tone, the pace of what they were going to do. 

Sebastian wrapped his hand around Chris’s dick and gave him an experimental tug. Chris tried his hardest to keep himself still, not jerk his hips forward and knock Sebastian off his lap. He threw his head back, hitting the back of the couch, when Sebastian twisted his wrist a certain way that sent a wave of warmth down Chris’s spine. He had such a proud look on his face that he was able to do that to Chris, make him weak and melt into the couch. Chris’s breath was coming out harsh and ragged as Sebastian painfully slowly continued to jerk him off. When Chris wasn’t breathing heavy he was praising Sebastian, letting him know what he liked and how to move his hand to give him maximum pleasure. Chris could see how concentrated he looked, looking between Chris’s dick and his eyes, his own eyes wide and lust filled. If he could, Chris wanted to mesmerize this exact moment forever. How debauched Sebastian looked, his lips raw and red from their kissing and him continuously biting at his bottom lip. His hair a mess on top of his head, curling at the nape from the heat and humidity inside the room. 

“Let me touch you,” Chris gasped out, his voice deep and raw. 

Sebastian nodded his approval. He let go of Chris momentarily, lifting himself up on jelly like legs to tug his boxers down so they rested on his thighs. “Please.”

“Shh,” he hushed him. “I got you.”

The noise that came out of Sebastian’s mouth when Chris wrapped his hand around his dick could be described as animalistic. His head was thrown back as he gasped for air, his hands holding tightly onto Chris’s shoulders to keep him in place. Chris placed his free hand to the back of Sebastian’s head, pulling him in for a heated kiss. Once he was able to regain himself again Sebastian moved his hand back to Chris’s dick to continue the slow torture he had began. The kiss they shared was sloppy and messy, a clash of teeth, lips, and tongues. Breathing into each other’s mouths, gasps and moans escaping their lips. Chris could feel his stomach tighten, his vision getting blurry. He felt like he was vibrating out of his skin. 

“Seb, Seb,” he moaned, leaning his head on Sebastian’s. “I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he encouraged him. “I’m close too.”

Chris started to work his own hand faster, using Sebastian’s precome to work him over faster and easier, twisting his hand by the head, already loving the little sounds Sebastian made when he did it. Hearing a sharp intake of breath, a hiss between his teeth. Chris was nodding his head as Sebastian copied his movements, tugging slowly and hard at Chris's, trying to bring him closer to his orgasam. He kept encouraging him with his moans and words of encouragement. Sebastian froze when Chris went still below him, coming between them, letting out a rough, low moan of ecstasy. He kissed along Chris’s jaw and down his neck to ease him back to reality, he selfishly wanted Chris to finish him off. Chris nodded his head, moving his hand again on Sebastian’s dick, determined to finish him off. A few tugs later and Sebastian collapsed on Chris, moaning as his orgasam was all but ripped from him. 

“Sebastian.”

“Hmm.”

“You need to get off of me, babe,” he told him softly. 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, his face turning red. He scrambled off of Chris on jelly legs, his pants and boxers still around his knees and thighs. 

“Bathroom,” Chris instructed him, getting up himself and trying to rearrange himself so he could walk without tripping over. 

They walked cautiously and silently to the bathroom, cleaning themselves up. Sebastian kept sneaking glances over at Chris, trying to read the situation. Okay, they got each other off and it was amazing and hot and overwhelming, but what now? Was that all this was? A means to an end, a quickie. One and done. After he wiped himself down and dried himself off, both boys fixed their boxers and pants and walked back into the living room so Sebastian could find his shirt. Chris went to the fridge and retrieved two water bottles and sat down at the small kitchen table he had. Once Sebastian was fully dressed he sat across from Chris and just kept staring at him, hoping he’d start the inevitable, awkward conversation. 

“I want to do this again,” Chris began, capping and uncapping his water bottle. 

“Right now?” Sebastian exclaimed in shock. “I know we’re young but I can’t get it up that fast, Chris.”

“Not the sex, Seb,” he laughed. “Us. Being together. Sex too but it’s more than that.”

“Oh.”

Chris looked at Sebastian, searching his face for an answer. “Do you not want that?”

“I do!” He replied quickly. “I definitely do.”

“So, what’s the problem?” He asked, reaching forward to lace his hand with Sebastian’s. 

“Class is over, we won’t see each other everyday like we used to,” he explained, gripping tight to Chris’s hand. “Everything has changed now.”

“I want to make this work with you,” he told him, looking at Sebastian directly. “It’s going to be hard and a struggle but I’ve waited too long to let this go.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, nodding slowly. “This can work.”

“This will work,” Chris corrected him, standing up and hovering over the table to lean across it and place a soft kiss to Sebastian’s lips. “I just got you, I don’t want to let you go.”

Sebastian pulled Chris in closer, as close as the table would let him, and kissed him fiercely. “It’ll work.”


End file.
